Posts Tagged pain

Internal Conflict – A war that can’t be won, alone

So what is it that makes us our worst enemy when it comes to the internal struggle?

It is a conflict that doesn’t get resolved because we find it hard to be the abritrator to ourselves. Well this is what I have found recently. It appears that I can argue both sides of the issue in an attempt to keep what it is that isn’t serving me.

The conscious strong part of me seems to hold strong with the argument that there is a place I need to be and it pushes me to get there, to walk through the pain and get to where peace resides. Yet, as equally as persistent is the ego! The inner voice telling me to stay where I am even if that place isn’t serving my happiness. This inner voice has a defiance behind it. Why is it that we can hold on to something when it creates pain? Is it because we feel if we give up something, even if it is bad for us, that there won’t be anything to fill the void? Perhaps.

What I have found is two things, stay conscious to where you are and you will eventually organically make the decision to change your situation and, don’t be alone with these struggles. The confusion can only be cleared when you allow others to feel your conflict because they will be objective. Those that are close to you will give you feedback that is not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. The closest loved ones will do this and not sugar coat what needs to be said. That’s love.

And then, you have to take action towards that wisdom!

Will you always be open to hearing what they say?! Well, no. The ego still wants to hold onto the situation where you give it power. I think contraction keeps us safe but it doesn’t bring us happiness, the type of happiness that allows you to laugh uncontrollably and smile from within.

Buddhists would say we should be greatful for this situation, to thank the universe for considering us as being ready for a life lesson. I know that theory is hard to hear when you are in it right?! Perhaps after this life struggle has cleared I will be able to truly say that but until then….

“”Peace is not the absence of conflict; it’s the absence of inner conflict. “” Unknown.

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